christinek13

Posts Tagged ‘Quarter 4 2011’

Love-Hate

In Conciousness on June 7, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I have a dog named Winkie. He’s a white Pomeranian and is almost two years old. I love him to death and when he perks up his ears, sticks out his tongue, and wags his tail when I come back home, I can’t help but give him a kiss and a treat. He’s even cuter when he lies down his back and extends his paws to me, telling me to scratch his stomach. He’s simply adorable, I tell you.

But there’s one problem. When my dog gets violent, boy does he get violent. Like most other Pomeranian dogs, he is very vicious. He is especially protective of his food and all objects around him; he considers them to be exclusively his property, and he does anything to protect what he considers to be his stuff. By anything I mean even biting me.

Yesterday, after I finished eating my peach yogurt, I gave the empty cup to my dog to lick on. Of course, being the food junkie he is, Winkie literally started licking and tearing apart the cup, and there I was next to him, patting him on his head because of how adorable he looked. Then, out of nowhere, my dog suddenly turns bad and bites me real hard on my arm. (It’s swollen right now, and it still kind of hurts…) After he bit me, I felt a pang of betrayal and anger at my dog for doing so. I had given nothing but love and care for Winkie and yet he had bitten me that hard… I have to say I was pretty disappointed.

I decided to be angry at my dog, but it lasted for two hours, and I forgave him when he snuggled up next to me in my bed. Every time this happened, it has always been the same. I manage to forgive him every time. I wonder if this is how parents feel about their children… LOLL

Daydreams.

In Conciousness, Uncategorized on June 7, 2011 at 7:46 am

I daydream a lot. If you see me staring into space with a blank look on my face, I’m probably off into my little world of who-knows-what. Whether it be at home in my room or in Chemistry class when I don’t find balancing equations particularly appealing, I daydream all the time at any place. Some Koreans say that if you daydream often, you will have a lot of stray, thin lines on the palm of your hands and that they represent the numerous thoughts you have everyday. Undoubtedly, I have them. LOTS OF THEM. The palms of my hands are filled with little dashes and crisscrosses that form such complicated webs that they could easily pass for a spider web.

I’ve wondered why I like to daydream so much as I grew up and initially, I thought it was something I inherited from my mom; she also likes to daydream, you see. But these days I realize that there may be another reason to my constant daydreaming.

People daydream about lots of different things, but I daydream about the future. ONLY about the future now that I think about it. About going to the family park this weekend with Winkie, about how amazing it would be to meet Condoleezza Rice, about how I would be living ten years later. I don’t think about the past, because to dwell on things that already happened that I can’t change is not worth my time. But to daydream about the future, that I think is worth my time.

Maturing.

In Conciousness, Uncategorized on May 26, 2011 at 4:39 am


When you are little, no matter how young you may be, you consider yourself to be all grown up. And then you look back at yourself a year later and realize how immature and silly you were. Ironically, you then consider yourself to be all grown up again, comparing your current self to yourself a year ago.
At least, that was the case for me…

Sophomore year is almost over and now looking back at it, I see how different I am now than I was at the beginning of the year. Of course, in August, I still thought that I was pretty much all grown up. But as the year went on, I made a lot of mistakes and some things didn’t turn out the way I had liked them to turn out. Every time this happened, I would be dismayed and thought “Why did this happen to me?” Of course, as the old saying goes, time heals everything, and it did for me. As time passed, I was able to forget about whatever had happened and move on.

But then as I looked back, those incidents were actually valuable in a way. Once you may mistakes, you know what you have done wrong, so you don’t make them again. And the only way to learn and grow is through experience.

So now, despite how bad I felt after the incidents, I am kind of grateful in a way because now I know that I will never make the same mistakes again. Perhaps this is all a part of growing up.

Spontaneity

In Conciousness on May 16, 2011 at 5:34 am


“Plan and follow.” This used to be my life motto for quiet some time. I always liked to plan things out in my hand whether they be short-term or long-term plans. When I was little, I said them out loud to my mom and as I entered high school, I organized them into a words document. It gave me a sense of… relief, knowing that as long as I follow the items on my plan I will be fine.

But as I grew up, especially during my past two years of high school, I realized that things don’t turn out exactly the way you planned. Things that you desperately wished for may not come into your hands or things totally unexpected may strike or welcome you. The first couple of times this happened to me, I was utterly stunned and completely stumped. The pieces of the puzzle I called my plan were scrambled, thrown apart, and I didn’t know how to start again.

But as clichéd as this may sound, what I didn’t realize is that life is full of surprises. Life isn’t just that easy and you never know what’s in store for you in the future. There are unexpected twists and turns that throw you off track and yes, your plan will be obliterated and you may be lost, but you must start again. Everyone goes through this but how you react to it is what makes all the difference.
So that is what I have learned to do. When something doesn’t go that way I thought or planned, I simply scratch those plans off my life and make new ones. My plans always change by the situation and don’t seem like plans anymore. I consider them more as… a stream of consciousness.

Now I live by a new motto: “Do whatever you feel like doing at the moment.” It’s better to just let fate take me wherever whenever instead of living by a plan that may change any moment.

AP Testing.

In Conciousness on May 12, 2011 at 10:23 am


The past few weeks have been very hectic for me. Or at least, I thought they were.

I had my first AP test of my high school career two days ago on May 9, 2011. I took the AP Biology exam, and I thought it went pretty okay. Actually, it was slightly easier than I had expected it to be. But on the other hand, it was also unexpected because the exam barely covered animal physiology and plants which are supposed to make up at least 15% of the exam and instead, ecology made up a majority of the exam.

This was an important test for me as it was the ONLY chance to show what I had learned during the whole year. It was quite frightening to think that all the work I had done during the whole year would be determined by one single exam. Therefore, I was under a lot of pressure and stress. In the process, I think I made myself believe that I was very busy and was pressed for time.

However, now that I look back at it, I wasn’t that busy and I had plenty of time. I actually had less homework and tests than I used to have, and I was pretty prepared for my exam as I started studying for it since mid February. It was my mindset that made me feel so pressured. I simply assumed that AP exams = lots of work & studying = stress. I was the very person who had imposed all the stress on me. If I had positive thoughts and was more confident in myself, I probably would have done as well or even better on the exam without being so despaired.

APs not only provided me with a change to prove my knowledge but also reminded me that how you think about things makes all the difference. I’m done with my APs for this year, but I’ll definitely keep what I learned in mind for next year when I have to take five exams…