Posts Tagged ‘growing up’


In Conciousness, Uncategorized on May 26, 2011 at 4:39 am

When you are little, no matter how young you may be, you consider yourself to be all grown up. And then you look back at yourself a year later and realize how immature and silly you were. Ironically, you then consider yourself to be all grown up again, comparing your current self to yourself a year ago.
At least, that was the case for me…

Sophomore year is almost over and now looking back at it, I see how different I am now than I was at the beginning of the year. Of course, in August, I still thought that I was pretty much all grown up. But as the year went on, I made a lot of mistakes and some things didn’t turn out the way I had liked them to turn out. Every time this happened, I would be dismayed and thought “Why did this happen to me?” Of course, as the old saying goes, time heals everything, and it did for me. As time passed, I was able to forget about whatever had happened and move on.

But then as I looked back, those incidents were actually valuable in a way. Once you may mistakes, you know what you have done wrong, so you don’t make them again. And the only way to learn and grow is through experience.

So now, despite how bad I felt after the incidents, I am kind of grateful in a way because now I know that I will never make the same mistakes again. Perhaps this is all a part of growing up.


Knowing too much.

In Conciousness on February 18, 2011 at 12:11 am

I miss being little.
When I knew so little and could let my childish dreams run free.
When I took so much delight in buying a fairy for my Neopet.
When I took further delight in the fairy giving my Neopet the power to see in the dark.
When I could be satisfied by such little things.

I woke up at five today and ten minutes later, I found myself rummaging through my box of old stuff. Looking for what? I did not know. I just felt like it was something I needed to do. Everything in the box seemed so foolish, though the box was labeled “Christine’s Treasure Box” in pink, purple, and black letters. I found TONS of stuffed animals, plastic beads, my mom’s empty makeup containers, chevron bracelets, pressed coins, hemp, broken crayola crayons, pieces of rock, a badly colored wolf poster… Then i came across my old Furreal friend. Light brown fur, burgundy eyes, black nose, pink tongue sticking out, red collar. It used to be THE ultimate object of my desire. Whenever i saw commercials of it, my sister and I stared at the television in awe and I slept with it for days when my parents finally got it for me at toysrus. I remember every night before I went to sleep, I stroked its fur and dreamed that the next morning, it would magically turn into a real dog.

I also used to dream that someday Santa Claus would take me back to his workshop and make me his apprentice.
I used to play “adult” with my sister, pretending the bottle of chocolate milk was a cup of coffee and dreaming of the day when i could drink real coffee. But now I know that there are so many more things to being an adult than drinking coffee.
I dreamed of the day I would turn twelve and an owl would bring my Hogwarts acceptance letter.
I dreamed that I could earn a fortune by making friendship bracelets all my life.
I would dream that I could fly over the baseball field, using the “charm” and “magic necklace” that my friend found.
Oh I used to dream of the craziest things, and I believed that those dreams will come true.
But now I know too much of what’s real and what’s not to dream of things that can never be.
But maybe….. just maybe… it’s good to be realistic.

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