Archive for February, 2011|Monthly archive page

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

In Conciousness on February 23, 2011 at 4:19 am

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could switch places with my dog. Eat, sleep all day, rip up some tissues, steal Christine’s socks from the washing machine, freak out over trivial matters such as Christine finding my secret toy hiding place… unburdened by the expectations and responsibilities enforced by society.

But of course, I do realize that there is more to being a dog than eating, sleeping, and playing all day; if this were to happen, the free will bestowed upon me as a human will be taken away along with my ability to do whatever the heck I what. Even now, my dog just desperately attempted to get his paws on a piece of mango on the kitchen countertop, but to no avail.

Nonetheless, living without expectations and responsibilities sounds very appealing at times. On the contrary, not being able to express my thoughts and do what I want… not so appealing.

So which is better? Living with heavy expectations and responsibilities but with the ability to say and do what I want or without both? It’s like one of those package deals you see all the time in grocery stores. You either get them all or you don’t get them at all.

Looking at my dog whimpering by my feet for a piece of mango, I see how restricted and confined my life would be if I were to switch places with him; my whole life would be in the hands someone else and I would have very little or no say in how my life plays out. “With great power comes responsibility,” they say. And though I sometimes fear responsibility, I really don’t want to lose my ability to speak out or do what I need to for myself so I guess I just have to suck it up and live my life as it is to its fullest.


Knowing too much.

In Conciousness on February 18, 2011 at 12:11 am

I miss being little.
When I knew so little and could let my childish dreams run free.
When I took so much delight in buying a fairy for my Neopet.
When I took further delight in the fairy giving my Neopet the power to see in the dark.
When I could be satisfied by such little things.

I woke up at five today and ten minutes later, I found myself rummaging through my box of old stuff. Looking for what? I did not know. I just felt like it was something I needed to do. Everything in the box seemed so foolish, though the box was labeled “Christine’s Treasure Box” in pink, purple, and black letters. I found TONS of stuffed animals, plastic beads, my mom’s empty makeup containers, chevron bracelets, pressed coins, hemp, broken crayola crayons, pieces of rock, a badly colored wolf poster… Then i came across my old Furreal friend. Light brown fur, burgundy eyes, black nose, pink tongue sticking out, red collar. It used to be THE ultimate object of my desire. Whenever i saw commercials of it, my sister and I stared at the television in awe and I slept with it for days when my parents finally got it for me at toysrus. I remember every night before I went to sleep, I stroked its fur and dreamed that the next morning, it would magically turn into a real dog.

I also used to dream that someday Santa Claus would take me back to his workshop and make me his apprentice.
I used to play “adult” with my sister, pretending the bottle of chocolate milk was a cup of coffee and dreaming of the day when i could drink real coffee. But now I know that there are so many more things to being an adult than drinking coffee.
I dreamed of the day I would turn twelve and an owl would bring my Hogwarts acceptance letter.
I dreamed that I could earn a fortune by making friendship bracelets all my life.
I would dream that I could fly over the baseball field, using the “charm” and “magic necklace” that my friend found.
Oh I used to dream of the craziest things, and I believed that those dreams will come true.
But now I know too much of what’s real and what’s not to dream of things that can never be.
But maybe….. just maybe… it’s good to be realistic.

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